Top 10 Things I Learned in 2007

10. There are many hilarious things one can find and view on YOUTUBE.

9. Hillary Clinton asked the public to help pick her official campaign song. Here are a few of the public's suggestions: The Theme from Shaft. Its Too Late Baby. Devil with a Blue Dress.
She's Cold as Ice. The Bitch is Back.

8. Paris Hilton was offered community service, but the community declined.

7. On July 27 in Milwaukee--three men backed a stolen vehicle through the glass front of a gas station. Their intent was to steal an ATM. But they didn’t realize that ATM's are bolted to the ground. After some thought, they tied a rope around the machine and attached it to the vehicle, but still could not dislodge it. They left empty-handed. The ATM was still in working order the next day. Oh those STUPID CRIMINALS!!!

6. Man shoplifts Wal-Mart watch in rectum--those folks from Louisiana are funny!
A 39-year-old Ponchatoula man was arrested Tuesday after he allegedly attempted to steal a wristwatch, which he allegedly hid inside a body cavity. He admitted he had not, in fact, left the property in the stall, but had carried it with him in a very, very dark place. He then voluntarily removed the watch from his rectum. (and I think it was sold on EBAY!)

5. Cheese consumption in the United States is expected to grow by 50 percent between now and 2013.

4. A substance called resveratrol, also found in red wine, protects mice from obesity and the effects of aging, and perhaps could do the same for humans. AWESOME DUDES!

3. The queens of bee, ant and wasp colonies that have the most sex with the largest number of males produce the strongest and healthiest colonies. (gotta love baking cakes!)

2. Tapping your toes in the men's room would acquire a previously hidden meaning.

drumroll please.....
1. One cannot lose 30 pounds when they continue to eat donuts, brownies, wine, beer, pizza, Chesters Hamburgers, Fried Chicken, French Fries, rolls and candy..coupled with basically no exercise routine!